


two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty

by aspynjett



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, On the Road Again Tour, Take Me Home Tour, The X Factor Era, Up All Night Tour, Where We Are Tour
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-11-09 17:43:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11109630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aspynjett/pseuds/aspynjett
Summary: harry and louis then are the same harry and louis now, it just took them six years to recognize it.





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i'm new to this whole thing and if i screw anything up or any of the information is wrong, please let me know! follow me on tumblr at @macyintheam for all the updates. enjoy!!! also, there will be loads more chapters. this is not all of this!!! i'm going to cover all of one direction and try to stay as true to the story as i can.

**the x-factor auditions, 2010**

 

Louis was a nervous wreck, but he wasn't exactly sure why. He had done this before last year, just didn't get through. But this time, the judges' were going to see him and that alone made him want to throw up right there in that room. He was sitting in a chair, his face in his hands and his mum rubbing his back. She was always so supportive of him. He didn't deserve her or her love. Every dream he ever wanted, she was right there behind him, pushing him along with her hand on his back. He looked up at her and mumbled, "I'm gonna go to the loo, mum." She gave him a tight smile and nodded her head as he got up from his seat and headed toward the bathroom. He walked in and over to the only open urinal. It seemed like everyone was having the performance jitters. Louis lined up to the urinal and released his bladder. In the midst of using the bathroom, he felt a liquid fly on him that was not his because it didn't come from the same direction as his. He chose to ignore it because it was a simple mistake. By the time he finished up, he walked to the sinks and washed his hands. He looked in the mirror and saw the green eyes of a boy staring at him. It was a little suspicious. By this time, the bathroom had cleared out. "You alright, mate," Louis asked, making sure the younger lad was okay. 

The younger lad cleared his throat and nodded his head, walking to the sinks and washing his hands without making eye contact with Louis. "Yeah, um, I'm sorry about that," the boy said, his voice lower than Louis had expected. Louis cocked his head and squinted his eyes, "I don't believe you. If it's jitters, I have them too, so no worries." The younger boy took in a breath and let it out slowly. "No, that was me, the pee. It bounced off the urinal. They really need protectors or something, you know?" The younger boy finally made eye contact with Louis again and for an odd reason, Louis felt a little bit of his tension go away. Louis gave him a smile and nodded, "Yeah, I suppose so. Don't sweat it though. Nothing a little soap and water can't fix." The younger boy smiled and his shoulders relaxed. "I'm Harry, by the way," he said, extending his hand to Louis. Louis took it and shook Harry's hand, "I'm Louis. Are you nervous about auditioning?"

Harry nodded and his eyes opened wider. "You have no idea. I'm terrified. I know the worst they could say is no and I can come back next year, but I dunno, this just feels like it's a make it or break it thing for me." Louis nodded his head, understanding where Harry was coming from. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, this is my second year auditioning. And if you want to feel really good, you look like a star, Harry. I think it's the curls." The younger boy had an interesting appearance. He had brown curly hair, green eyes, and his face wasn't shaped like the rest of the boys there. He still had a baby face. "You're a popstar in the making, Harry. Care if I get a signature, just in case? So I can say that I knew you before you became insanely famous." Louis reached in the pocket of his pants and pulled out a pen, then walked over to the paper towel dispenser and grabbed a towel. Handing the pen and towel to Harry, he said, "Go on now, practice that signature. Time's a ticking." The younger boy walked over to the wall and put the paper against it, signing it fast, but to where it was still legible. "There you go, Louis," he said with a smile, "Best of luck to you." Louis nodded his head, "You too, Harry." Harry looked at Louis once more before walking out of the bathroom. Louis looked in the mirror and closed his eyes, splashing his face with water before walking out of the bathroom and back to his mum.

About an hour later, Louis' life changed and he had made it through the first round and it was off to bootcamp for him. Little did he know that he would see those same green eyes again in a few weeks.

 

**bootcamp, 2010**

 

Louis wasn't so scared anymore. He had made it through auditions and that gave him enough adrenaline to get him through bootcamp. He knew his mum was proud of him, but also worried, so he didn't mind slipping away to give her a ring every now and then. When Louis was walking back to the stage from calling his mum, he saw a group of people congregated in a circle, laughing away. He was interested to see who was so funny, so he walked up to the group. He didn't mean to, but he accidentally nudged another boy who was listening to the story. "Sorry, mate," Louis said to the boy in front of him. "No problem," the boy said without turning around. The voice sounded too familiar to Louis, too low.  _Harry, Harry's low voice_. "Harry, is that you," Louis asked cautiously. Soon enough, Louis was greeted with bright green eyes and a wide-eyed grin. "Louis, you're here! I've been looking around for you, believe it or not." Louis smiled at this, glad that Harry had remembered him. "Is bootcamp kicking your arse or what," Louis asked with a laugh. Harry returned his laugh and nodded, "I'm awful at dancing. The worst actually. Can't throw any shapes to save my life." Louis' eyes crinkled as he let out a small laugh. He didn't really understand the whole "not being able to dance thing." He was a theatre boy. Dancing was just a part of him. "I owe my dancing styles to Grease," Louis said. Before Harry could answer him, the instructor called everyone to their respectable spots and from then on, Louis and Harry were split up, but a part of Louis knew that the separation wouldn't last very long.

 

**callbacks, 2010**

 

Louis was dismissed from The X Factor after working his arse off at bootcamp. Apparently he just wasn't what they were looking for this year and while Louis understood, he was still hurt. He would go back to his home in Doncaster and life would go back to normal. He would be fine. He would find some other way to help his mum out. But then, someone came and got him because the judges' wanted to talk to him. When brought on stage, he saw four familiar faces of friends he had made during bootcamp: Liam, Niall, Zayn, and then Harry. Harry was there, the first person Louis had met and actually spoke to during the whole process. Maybe they were all going home together and the judges' wanted to say something nice to boost their self esteem. Louis' heart wasn't even broken anymore for himself now that he saw Harry there. Harry was the one who deserved to be a star. He had said so himself. And mainly, Louis just wanted that autograph to be worth something one day. But that was coming to an end.

Simon Cowell stood up from behind the table and started speaking. "You five have done a fantastic job during this whole process and we are really sorry for sending you home as solo acts." Louis looked down at the ground and fiddled with his fingers, not wanting to face the reality of the situation. "However, after much thought and consideration, we will be welcoming you back as a group, if that is okay with you all." At this, all five boys froze for what felt like forever before that all started screaming and jumping. Somehow, in the midst of this, Louis had found himself in Harry's arms, in the air. And he was fine with this. This was all he needed right now.


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter tells the story of the bungalow - the beginning of everything.

**the bungalow, summer of 2011**

  
Once the boys were put together as a group, they decided that it was time they begin to bond and get to know one another because as Liam said, “They’ll be more inclined to vote for us if they can see we like each other and know each other really well.” And well, over a series of group texts, they all decided they needed to go on a small holiday together. Not much, but just to live together and see what happened. It just so happened that Harry’s step-dad owned a bungalow out in the countryside. It wasn’t ideal, but it was enough. And so, they planned their holiday for the summer.

  
Soon enough, spring turned to summer and it was time for Louis to make his way to the bungalow. He was a bit nervous. Sure, he and the boys had been texting back and forth for months now, but being with them for two weeks in a bungalow where all they had was one another was going to be interesting. Louis’ mum kissed him on the cheeks as he got into the taxi and it drove off on its way to the bungalow.

  
About three hours went by and the car came to a stop in front of a wooden style cabin. It looked small, but cozy from the looks of it. Just what they needed. He handed the driver a fifty-dollar bill and gave him an encouraging smile before getting out of the cab and grabbing his suitcase from the trunk.

  
He made his way to the front door and knocked, not knowing if anyone was even there yet. If no one was there, this was going to be very awkward. Soon, the door opened and Liam was standing in front of him, his shaggy hair falling in front of his eyes. He greeted Louis with a warm smile, “Hey there, Louis! We’ve been wondering where you were.” _We?_ Was everyone here and he was late? Jesus. Of course.

  
He walked in through the door and saw Zayn, Niall, and Harry gathered in the living room, playing FIFA. Just what Louis wanted to see. He could kick all their arses in that one. Someone paused the game and they all looked at Louis, delivering their greetings. “Hey, Louis.” “Nice of you to show up.” “Hi, Lou.” The last one, that “Hi, Lou,” is the one that caught his attention the most. It was Harry. He looked over and saw Harry’s green eyes staring at him. And if Louis didn’t put his stuff up, he was going to be a quivering mess on the ground.

  
“Where do I need to put my stuff,” Louis mumbled out, stumbling over his words, which was something he wasn’t used to doing. Harry got up and laid the remote control on the couch beside him. He walked over to a narrow hallway and turned to Louis, motioning for him to follow him. Louis walked behind Harry, dragging his suitcase behind him.

“Since all of the boys practically killed one another to get single beds, we got stuck with a double. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me for two weeks,” he said, opening the door at the very end of the hallway to reveal a comfortable, cozy suite with a king-sized bed in the middle of the wall. There was a huge window with curtains that draped to the ground. There was a wooden dresser across from the bed where Louis assumed he could store his stuff for the next two weeks. “But hey, the plus is, we get our own bathroom,” Harry added, drawing Louis out of his observations of the room.

  
Louis nodded and laid his suitcase on the bed. “My only request is that I get the left side of the bed. That’s the only way I’ll get my beauty sleep.” He unzipped his suitcase and began unpacking his things, placing them in drawers that didn’t already contain some of Harry’s things. Harry let out a sheepish laugh. “I’m afraid we’re going to have to have a draw or something because the left side is my preferred side too.” He looked at Harry who shrugged his shoulders. Louis rolled his eyes playfully and stuck out his hands. “On three, yeah?” Harry nodded. “Rock, paper, scissors, shoot,” they both said. Harry cried in defeat as Louis beat him – paper against rock. “Rule number one, Styles,” Louis said, resting his hand gently on Harry’s arm, “Never compete against me. You’ll lose every single time.”

  
Harry gave him a one over as he processed what Louis said. Then their eyes met and Louis gave Harry a small satisfactory smirk and Louis swore he saw Harry gulp and tense up a bit. Harry shook his head, almost getting himself out of the moment. “Um, so, uh, we are ordering a pizza and drinking some beer tonight. Niall mentioned a game of truth or dare, but we aren’t in primary anymore, so uh, yeah. Just come to the living room whenever you’re, uh, ready.” Harry walked out of the room before Louis could get anything out of his mouth. _That was weird_ , Louis thought to himself. But without missing a beat, he finished unpacking and went into the living room to join the rest of the boys.

  
He walked into the living room where there were two big sofas and an arm chair. Liam had made himself comfortable in the arm chair. Niall and Harry were sitting on a sofa and Zayn was sitting on the other one, across from Niall and Harry. Louis walked over and sat next to Zayn. “Hope you don’t mind me sitting here,” he said with a nod. Zayn let out a laugh. “I’m surprised you sat here if I’m being honest,” Zayn said, mumbling to Louis. Louis furrowed his eyebrows, confused at the statement. Then Zayn realized he must’ve said something wrong based on the look on Louis’ face. “Only joking, mate. Of course, you can sit by me.” Zayn turned his attention back to the television, watching the game of FIFA Niall and Harry were playing.

  
“When is the pizza getting here? I’m starving,” Liam said in a whiny-tone. Liam was someone who Louis wasn’t a fan of yet. He didn’t really know why, but something about Liam just set him off in the wrong way. Maybe it was because Liam had this aura about him that he was better than everyone else and he wasn’t scared to let you know that. But then again, Louis was a bit arrogant too. Maybe the two clashed because of their similar personalities.

  
Niall yelled out, “I don’t know, Liam! Thirty minutes I believe,” without looking away once from the television. “Goal,” Niall cheered, jumping off the couch in excitement. Louis looked to Harry who looked a little bit frustrated playing this game against Niall or maybe it was the fact that Niall was vocal about beating Harry in FIFA. Harry didn’t falter too much though. He kept looking at the television, his hands fiddling with the sticks on the controller.

  
“Don’t get too serious there, Styles. It won’t help you, I promise,” Louis said, commenting on Harry’s serious facial expression. His eyes were furrowed and his focus was on the television screen. Niall got up again, this time screaming, “I beat you, Harry! I beat you!” Louis watched as Harry slammed down his remote and leaned back, sinking into the couch with his arms crossed. There was a pout coming across his face.

  
There was a knock on the door and Liam got up, running to the door with money in his hand. “Thank God you’re here,” he said, opening the door and handing the money to the delivery guy. The man handed him the pizzas and Liam shut the door, bringing them into the living room and setting them on the coffee table. Louis, along with the rest of the boys, immediately started digging in. Liam let out a groan with the first bite of the pizza.

  
“Jesus, Liam, at least get to know a girl first,” Louis said with a hint of playfulness behind his voice. There was a lack of communication for a good ten minutes or so as the boys downed the pizza and the beer. Soon enough, after there were several beers downed and the pizza was gone, Niall spoke up, “We’re playing Truth or Dare. I don’t care who says otherwise. It’s the only way to truly get to know each other.” Harry and Zayn groaned, but Liam and Louis, on the other hand, encouraged it. Niall didn’t have a bad idea.

  
Niall leaned forward. “It’s three against two, so truth or dare it is. Deal with it.” He clasped his hands together. “I’ll go first. Liam, truth or dare?” Liam looked around for a few seconds, thinking on if he should take a risk or not. “Truth,” he said quietly. Niall nodded his head, thinking of something to ask Liam. “Why did you come back to the X Factor again after being rejected already?” _Wow, Niall, way to start off with the deep stuff,_ Louis thought to himself.

  
Louis saw Liam’s shoulders go up, tension filling his entire body. Liam looked up at the ceiling and bit his bottom lip before answering Niall’s question. “I suppose the same reason you lads tried out as well – we all believe we have something the world needs to hear.” The boys looked around at each other, nodding in agreement with what Liam had said. _Not too shabby of an answer_ , Louis thought to himself, _but still annoying_.

  
“Okay, my turn,” Liam said, looking around the room to see who the next victim of the game would be. “I choose Zayn. Truth or dare?” Zayn cocked his head up from the ground, surprised that Liam had picked him. “Hmm, I choose…dare,” Zayn said without missing a beat. He flashed a smile, ready for anything Liam was going to throw at him. Liam bit his lip and moved his hands to his face. “I, um, dare you to…drink a whole can of beer in seven seconds.” Niall scoffed while Zayn rolled his eyes. This wasn’t the cleverest dare, but if it was the only thing Liam could come up with, then so be it. Zayn opened a fresh can of beer and as he chugged the drink, the boys began to count down from seven. Zayn finished in an astonishing six seconds and the boys cheered, Louis patting him on the back.

  
“I choose Harry. He deserves a little bit of love after losing to Niall in FIFA. So, Harry Styles, truth or dare?” Harry replied quickly, “Truth,” and Louis had to hold back from making fun of him for not taking a risk and choosing dare, but it is what it is. Louis had a million questions he wanted to ask Harry, but thankfully, it was Zayn’s time to ask a question and not Louis’. “What is the worst sex you have ever had?” Now _that_ was a question.

  
Harry’s eyes widened then his eyebrows furrowed together as he tried to piece his thoughts together. _He couldn’t have had that many experiences, he’s a child_ , Louis thought to himself. Harry’s answer brought Louis out of his thoughts for a moment. “Oh, um, about three months ago. An ex-girlfriend.” Louis’ heart dropped, but he wasn’t exactly sure why. He started feeling a pit in his stomach. He looked up and saw Harry’s eyes burning into him. “She wanted it rough and if I’m being honest with you guys, I’m a tender lover. Not some crazed Fifty Shades of Gray Maniac, you know?”

  
The boys snickered, but Louis didn’t. For some reason, he couldn’t even give out a small smile if he wanted to. Something in his body was holding him back from that. He didn’t even hear Harry asked Niall truth or dare or anything that happened between Niall asking him truth or dare. There was a cloud or something blocking his ability to focus, to hear. When Niall said his name, that’s when Louis was pulled out of whatever had happened there. “Um, dare, if you can even think of a good one, Ireland.”

  
Niall nodded his head, accepting the challenge to impress Louis. That was the thing about Louis, he didn’t back down for anything and he always down to challenge people to test him. “Okay, Tommo, let’s see your best strip tease if you’re wanting to do a good dare so bad.” Louis turned his head, almost questioning why the hell Niall would choose that. Besides, Louis didn’t know these boys. He wasn’t comfortable enough to do that. “C’mon, Tommo, we all know you have the arse to do it. We aren’t blind.” He looked around as the boys smirked and laughed, silently agreeing with what Niall had said. Except Harry. Harry wasn’t doing anything but looking straight at Louis, watching to see what his next move would be.

  
“Fine, if it’s a strip tease you want, then it’s a strip tease you’re going to get, Ireland.” Louis got up from his spot on the couch next to Zayn and tugged at his shirt, pulling it over his arse because he was pretty sure everyone was staring at it now. “Well alright, someone play some music. I’m not doing this without a little beat to move to.” Soon, Niall started playing “Pony” by Ginuwine. “You’ve _got_ to be kidding me,” Louis said, rolling his eyes. How immature. Niall stuck his hand out, giving Louis the go to start.

  
Louis let the words get into his head and let the beat take over his hips, rocking them back and forth, lifting his shirt just a little bit above his waist line. He messed with the waistband of his joggers before rolling his hips. He pulled down the waistband of his joggers just enough so his happy trail could be seen. Then he continued his hip rolling as the song progressed. Once Louis finished, he let out a laugh, as did the rest of the boys. And when he made his way back to the couch, all the boys kept laughing. Except for Harry, who was making eye contact with his, his hands rested on his knees in a clenched fist. Harry slept on the couch in the living room that first night.

  
The next few days went on. The boys played some FIFA. They swam in the lake behind the bungalow. Not very much. They sang a bit as Niall played the guitar. It was an alright time. They were getting to know each other and becoming more aware of the other. Louis was doing just fine. He was growing to love the boys. However, Harry hadn’t really been doing or saying much when Louis was around after that whole strip tease thing. Harry hadn’t even slept in the bed. Louis didn’t know why. It was just a bit weird and he wanted to confront Harry about it. He just didn’t necessarily know how.

  
It was a Saturday night and the boys had officially lived a week together in this bungalow. They decided to have a bonfire to celebrate, with s’mores and beer. Liam and Zayn had mangled together fire wood and Niall had went outside to light it. Louis was inside, gathering the marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers together to take outside. Soon, the back door opened and Harry walked in. He didn’t even say hi to Louis, much less look at him. He just walked to the refrigerator and started gathering some beers in his arms.

  
Louis cleared his throat, a little annoyed by how Harry had been acting recently. “Could you at least acknowledge a person if they’re in the same room as you?” Harry turned around, his eyes shooting right toward Louis. “You’ve been acting weird for a week now and it’s not helping anyone or anything, Harry.” Harry still didn’t say anything, just stood there and looked at Louis. “I don’t know what you’re trying to get at or what’s going on with you, but it’s been going on for far too long and we’re sick of it, _I’m_ sick of it.” Mainly this was because Louis maybe wanted to know what it was like to have Harry’s body heat next to him while he was asleep. But he didn’t want to admit that. Before Louis could even make another remark, Harry shot something back at him.

  
“Are you gay?” The question hit Louis in the heart. It was a question he was all too familiar with. The answer had already been rehearsed a million times before. He furrowed his eyebrows together as Harry stared at his with a black expression, like he hadn’t just asked Louis a question that had been haunting him for most of his life.

  
Louis let out a small laugh and nodded his head. “I have a girlfriend. Her name is Hannah. She’s wonderful.” Louis never admitted it or denied it. He always just brought up Hannah. She wasn’t fictional by any means. She was a girl from back home that he had grown up around. She had blonde hair and she was petite. She had a nice laugh. Louis and she had fun together and at least she never complained when Louis wanted to watch Grease for the 500th time. “We’ve been dating for a bit actually.”

  
“That’s not what I asked.” Harry shut the refrigerator door with his hips and laid the beers on the table, crossing his arms in front of him. “Are you or aren’t you gay?” Harry was now adamant about getting this answer out of Louis, but Louis didn’t look fazed by him just yet.

  
Louis shook his head and let out a sigh. “It’s not my problem if my answer doesn’t suffice you. Can’t live my whole life trying to please someone other than myself.” _Oh, how that would come back to bite Louis one day._ He watched as Harry rolled his eyes and sighed. “Well, what about you, Styles, are you gay?”

  
“Yeah, I am. Always have been, I guess. Just didn’t come to terms with it until recently.” Harry said, his face more serious now, yet relaxed. Louis nodded, taking in Harry’s answer. If Louis were being honest, he didn’t really like to label himself. He hadn’t been with a guy to know if he would even like it. And he guessed kissing Hannah was okay. It wasn’t the greatest thing in the world, but a kiss is just a kiss. Right? “Just thought you were too. Sorry for the accusation.”

  
Louis cocked his head. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me, Styles? You scared you can’t be around me if I’m straight or something? Or scared I’m going to ridicule you for who you choose to love?” Louis nodded and let out a laugh, looking down at the ground. “I can assure you that I’m the last one of these boys who would judge you for who you prefer to love.”

  
Harry shrugged his shoulders, finally uncrossing his arms. Louis could feel the tension ease down in the room. “I just, I dunno. I’m out with my family, but I’m not out-out yet, you know? And I want to be myself 100% in front of you guys. I want you to know me for who I truly am, not this exhausting façade I put on back home for my friends.”

  
Louis gave Harry a concerned look and walked over to him, putting his hand on Harry’s shoulder, making sure Harry was looking him in the eyes. “Don’t ever think I won’t accept you for who you are, Harry.” Louis felt a bit emotional, knowing that he was more than likely one of the first people besides his family that Harry was coming out to. “You’re a wonderful person and whoever can’t see that is a proper dick that doesn’t even deserve to know you.” Harry nodded his head, taking in every word that Louis said, believing it with either ounce of his being. “Now, get those beers and let’s go outside with the rest of the boys.”

  
Over the next week, Harry stopped sleeping on the couch and moved into the bedroom with Louis and they slept on the bed. Harry told the other boys his sexuality and Niall won some money because apparently, he and Liam were betting on it. Louis was a little bit jealous, partly because Harry was free to be who he wanted to be and love who he wanted to love, but mainly because Louis felt something tugging at him, saying that maybe Hannah wasn’t who he needed to be with, that maybe girls weren’t who he loved. And most of the time that tugging happened when Harry was sound asleep and snoring and turned on his side facing Louis, when Louis was awake and caught himself watching Harry breathe, in and out. **And somewhere in that week left at the bungalow, they weren’t _Harry and Louis_ anymore. They were _HarryandLouis_.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!! i'm trying to stay on top of this story as much as possible because i want you lovely people to have something to read and never be waiting for a while. i'm sorry this took so long, but i hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> see you all very soon. xoxo.


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